


life is white (i am black)

by earthandblood



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comes Back Wrong, Episode: s01e11 The Magical Place, Gen, Horror, Monster From Beyond The Veil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 03:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1290343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earthandblood/pseuds/earthandblood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"He was caught in the machinery," said the visitor at length in a low voice.</i><br/><i>"Caught in the machinery," repeated Mr. White, in a dazed fashion, "yes."</i><br/>-"The Monkey’s Paw" W. W. Jacobs</p>
            </blockquote>





	life is white (i am black)

Coulson’s pretty sure the theta wave generator is carving holes in his head, the pain is that bad.  Every hole carved gives him another small piece, another small flash of memory, though, so it’s a pain he has to endure.  And he really is trying as hard as he’s ever tried to surrender to it (the damn thing cuts through his psyche with all the finesse of a chainsaw through jello), knowing that Raina is watching with rapt interest near by.  Her faux-concern wouldn’t have worked on him normally; of course, when it feels like pieces of your brain are leaking out your ears and you can’t think of anything else you’ve ever wanted moremore _more_ -

Well, desperation on that level would make anyone weak.

(also, how unlike himself Coulson’s been feeling ever since he came back - opened up and unhinged, like his grip on reality is tenuous at best.)

Just when he thinks he can’t bear to see the doctor’s face twist itself into horrified shapes one more time (did he mention that it feels as though his head is actually splitting open at this point?), his heart lurches violently and the ugly scar on his chest feels like it’s ripping apart.  And jesus, he’s bleeding out on the Helicarrier all over again; except now, everything that SHIELD tried to force back into his corpse, everything they thought made up Phil Coulson: The Person is bleeding out of him.

As he slipping down, and down, he sees what they desperately tried to erase.  To write-over, as if he were a goddamn floppy disk.

 

 

_Coulson’s inhumanly pale face keeps a steady, blank gaze leveled at the two-way mirror.  He hasn’t blinked, hasn’t moved; not even when Fury walked out of the room without saying a word._

_This is the third attempt at restoration.  The doctors consider it a positive sign that Coulson (or the Thing that wears his face) seems wholly disinterested in other human beings this time around._

 

 

and then, before-

 

 

_The rip and squelch of muscle rending in his fingers.  Blood pours over sharp white teeth, but the tang of copper eludes him; instead turning to ash on his tongue._

_Fury’s one eye, wide with horror, looms above him._

 

 

A great yawning maw opens beneath him.

This is not the first time.

 

 

(here is where he loses himself, between the righteous and the wicked.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> stylistically, i wanted to give this a sense of a descent into madness, into abomination. i hope it worked.


End file.
